đź–¤ What a Lovely Problem to Have
đź–¤ What a Lovely Problem to Have
I. The Lovely Problem
“What a lovely problem to have,” ran through my mind as I sat at my desk, ready to hurl my MacBook through the window opposite me.
I was 72 hours into troubleshooting coding issues on my website when this thought occurred to me. The rule that prevents customers from buying sold-out variants from BPS had broken down earlier in the week. Over 1,000 products had failed to publish. I had to make amends to orders where the system had allowed purchases of items that were unavailable. The number of times I had needed to audit systems to isolate where the problems were occurring had me on the ropes mentally. I was exhausted and put out. I was doubting my abilities and the future when I realized these are lovely problems to have. These are the problems that occur with success. Issues with orders are a testament to the growth in this endeavor. I was unknowingly praying for these problems eight weeks ago, and here they are!
II. The Body Remembers
This morning, Peru, Indiana, saw its first sprinkles of snow for the upcoming winter. I stood in my driveway, drinking my cup of coffee like I do every Sunday morning, and thought back to the first snow last year. It snowed about two weeks earlier this year. I'm in awe of how much less physical pain I've experienced this year compared to last.
At this time last year, I was rationing out my energy because my hip and back were in a constant state of pain. My joints ached and swelled, and I was exhausted from the lack of rest. This year, there is no constant pain, just the occasional twinge that reminds me not to overexert myself. Hell, yesterday morning I squatted 315 lbs with band assistance. The week prior, I squatted 250 lbs with nothing but a belt and a spotter.
I find it amusing how, day-to-day, it feels like nothing ever changes, but when we compare ourselves to past versions of ourselves, we realize that nothing is the same. I've yet to start a process to make it one year in, and regretted the work in hindsight. There is a spiritual nourishment in finding oneself at the end of another year, having made an effort to resolve something.
III. The People Who Lighten the Load
This year, like the ones before it, brought many new people into my life — people I interact with on a daily, weekly, and monthly basis. I've enjoyed the people I've met this year. I cannot say that for all the years. In fact, sometimes I dread meeting people for fear they will bear a resemblance to people I have known in the past. It's often not a reasonable worry, but my amygdala enjoys earning its keep.
The people I have met this year are as varied as the wild flora. Few are comparable to each other, yet they all make up an engaging puzzle I call community. I work out with a woman whose text message notification is the sound of a cow mooing. I don't know if you've ever been fighting for life in a lift, but I can assure you that the sound of a cow mooing as you're trying to work adds levity.
This is where the day-to-day gives us joy. No one has to set out to brighten someone's day; sometimes just their presence can lighten another's load.
IV. Lists, Lessons, and Little Victories
My to-do list is always pages long. Sometimes, I run multiple to-do lists organized by timeline, goal, or objective. I don't have these lists because I'm unmotivated or unproductive; rather, it's because I always set my goals high and long-term.
Some would say I'm delusional about the amount of work I can complete, but I like to think of myself as constantly training for the next step or opportunity. Without failure and stress, how would I grow and learn?
My Home Renovations and Maintenance to-do list has had two bullets that have kept me awake a few nights over the last several months. I've tried to resolve the issues, I've scheduled contractors and researched solutions. Nothing worked for month after month after month. This week I made one phone call and sent one text message. Those issues are now 100 percent resolved with ease and cost me zero U.S. dollars.
Sometimes we have to fail over and over before we can succeed. Sometimes the stress is there to grow our perseverance more than it is there to wear us down. It's about the mindset from which you approach the tribulation.
V. The Waiting Room of the Heart
A few weeks back, I learned that someone close is awaiting a treatment plan. After a decade of remission, the cancer is back, and it has metastasized.
The last few weeks have felt like sitting in a waiting room while waiting for terrible news. There's an air of unease to the waiting; a cool stillness. Everything feels sharper yet brittle at the same time.
What will they do? What should I do? Can anything be done? A flurry of questions that have no answers, or at least no answers I will accept.
This internal battle has flowed under the water of every voyage I've embarked upon this week. It's a stressor over which I have zero control regarding the outcome. My only role is to wait. As most of us would agree, these are the least favorite of life's stressors.
VI. The Good Seeds We Sow
I've shared multiple types of stress from my life in this post. Some of those stressors allow me to show up time and time again and grind them into resolutions. I love these stressors that let me sit in the driver's seat. They are proof of life for my weary heart.
Other stressors require me to sit in stillness, regulate my emotions, and wait, clinging to my dignity. I sometimes channel my energy into solving problems in other people's lives. While I could do nothing for the person waiting to meet with their oncologist, I could volunteer to deliver meals to the homebound and elderly for a couple of hours this week.
I want to think the universe spreads the good seeds we plant — that maybe someone in my person's life did something to ease their struggle because I was able to help someone else this week. Perhaps this is an idle, foolish hope, but I shall operate as if it is a truth. I will sow as many good seeds as I can spare in hopes of making this world a little less brutal for others.
VII. The Adventure Ahead
Life is full of tribulations, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Without the heat, the steel cannot be forged. One can never really be brave if they've never been terrified. J. M. Barrie wrote in Peter Pan, “To live will be an awfully big adventure.”
This upcoming week will bring new challenges, and I will undoubtedly be afraid at some point, but I will choose to be brave.
Because this really is an awfully big adventure.