Perfection Is a Convenient Way to Stay Stuck
We often use perfectionism as a method of self-sabotage.
In the book Atomic Habits, a story is told about David Brailsford, a coach for the British Cycling Team. At that time, the British Cycling Team was considered a perennial loser.
Brailsford came in and, instead of making massive, sweeping changes, implemented the concept of aggregated marginal gains, which means he made numerous tiny changes with the goal of achieving 1% better results than before the change.
The results?
Multiple Olympic gold medals.
Tour de France victories.
So if we have clear evidence that making informed tiny changes to the existing structure compounds over time and delivers results, why do we run face-first into the new year on January 1st screaming new year, new me, while clutching a list of outcomes that would require the habits of a person we do not want to be?
Maybe it’s fun and novel to spend six weeks at the beginning of the year daydreaming about the person you could be if you changed.
These habits require a person we don’t have the stomach to be.
Because if we quit indulging in the extra food, media time, gossip, and consumerism, we just cut off every built-in source of dopamine.
We must ensure the structures we build include “gifts” to our future self.
You will be tired.
You will not feel like following through.
What are you going to do to ensure that you don’t give up?
For example, at all times, no matter how bad the circumstances, there is what I refer to as a “treatie treat” hidden in a drawer in my kitchen.
At this moment, that drawer has two Soley fruit jerky waiting for me.
Those are there for the bad days — when I want or need a treat to help me carry on through my to-do list.
I have no problem baiting myself like a child, and I strongly encourage you to do the same if you’re struggling with implementation.
The conversation in my head goes a little bit like this:
Me: I’m exhausted, my body hurts, and I don’t want to spend two hours publishing copy or doing three more loads of laundry.
Also me: If you go flip the existing load of laundry and get the copy to at least draft form, you can have a Soley fruit jerky for your troubles.
Me again: Fiiinnnneeeee, but I want some caffeine too.
Still me: We will see how it goes….
Wouldn’t you get more done if you worked with yourself instead of constantly trying to punish yourself into submission?
Maybe those fleeting six weeks of the year are when you feel most like yourself.
But we have to ask ourselves —
is six weeks out of fifty-two enough?
Spoiler: it never will be.
The average American lives until 78.4 years old.
That’s barely more than 4,076 weeks of life to live.
How many weeks do you have left?
The decisions you make today, tomorrow, and the next day directly determine your quality of life as you move forward.
The weeks are ticking by — one by one.
Decide to make minor 1% improvements in several areas of your life and let those changes become your new normal.
The changes will compound, and a year later, you will be continuing down a path instead of restarting again for another round of new year, new me.
I hear the following — a lot:
“I want to be less emotionally reactive.”
So you want to be less emotionally reactive this year?
How are you working toward that?
Are you practicing mindfulness techniques?
Are you learning breathwork?
Have you spoken to a therapist?
To reach the goal, you must take steps toward the goal.
You must get up and do the work, regardless of whether you think it’s effective or not.
You must keep that promise to yourself.
You DESERVE to see what happens when you stick to a plan.
As we all consider our lives at the beginning of this year and set new goals and resolutions, I implore you to ask yourself:
If I start doing this today, could I do it forever?
If not, make the change a little smaller until it is something you can commit to doing every day for the rest of your life.
There have been numerous occasions over the years when I really, really, REALLY wanted something that was just too far out of reach to be a plausible change at the time.
Did I just table the idea?
Did I give up and pout about my circumstances?
For a minute — yes, I did pout.
But while pouting, I came up with a plan to put myself in a better position to pursue that dream down the road.
On the surface, it may not look like I’m pursuing some of my dreams, but in reality, I am implementing very small changes that put me in the perfect position to pursue those dreams.
It’s often unglamorous.
It’s often uncelebrated.
But it’s the work that has had the biggest impact on my quality of life.